


goddess of light, i'll be forever gracious

by tigermochaeyu



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 13:24:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21075611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigermochaeyu/pseuds/tigermochaeyu
Summary: chaeyoung had a brush with death





	goddess of light, i'll be forever gracious

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't SAD exactly it's just some good ol' hurt/comfort
> 
> the title is from i don't like darkness by chase atlantic and YES I know the lyric is actually "darkness to light, i'll be forever gracious" but "goddess of light" sounded better so fight me
> 
> also my first attempt at lapslock so sorry if i screwed up lmao

_ it’s always the same, winding corridors and creaking metal, waiting for something to jump out and take her. _

_ everything feels hazy and slow, like she shouldn’t be there. like her brain doesn’t _ want _ her to be there. but she presses on, hands gripping tightly against metal, the cold seeping in and through her shirt. her head is on a swivel, desperately searching for- god what was she looking for again? an escape route? a target? _

_ she makes another turn, shadows suddenly swarming her vision. nothing seems to make sense here, she thinks as she appears in a new room. yet she presses on, towards a small and broken sound calling out her name. _

_ chaeyoung. _

_ she moves faster, not sure if determination of fear fuels her. she turns, suddenly blinded by light, the sound louder. _

_ chaeyoung. _

_ she squints through the light, heart rate spiking. the metal in her hands seems to burn as the looming shadow of a faceless figure somehow grins wickedly at her. a gun seemingly pulled from out of nowhere, her veins alight with terror as it’s pointed at- _

_ chaeyoung! _

“-sana!” chaeyoung shoots up, chest heaving for breath as her body’s fight or flight mode rages.

a hand gently wraps around her wrist, urging her to relax. she registers her surroundings; a bedroom, her bedroom, _ their _ bedroom. she’s home, not in that horrible maze, not back _ there _.

she hadn’t even noticed the open switchblade tightly clasped in her hand until now.

“chaeyoung, it’s okay,” a voice speaks softly, chaeyoung nearly sprains a muscle in her neck to see who it is. sana stares back, eyes filled with concern, and chaeyoung knows she must look like a wild animal fending for it’s life right now, pupils blown and mouth gasping for breath. she tries to relax, to take a deep breath, if only for the girl beside her.

“sorry, i-”

“i know,” sana says quietly, the corner of her mouth curling into a sheepish smile that somehow quells every nightmarish fear in chaeyoung’s mind. sana understands, isn’t afraid of her, doesn’t hate her. “i tried to wake you before it got worse.”

chaeyoung nods, white knuckles finally loosening their grip around the hilt of the blade. “i could _ hear _ you, i just.. i couldn’t-”

“shh,” sana’s hand moves from her forearm to her cheek, chaeyoung melting into the touch and how sana’s thumb etches safety and comfort into her entire being. the switchblade is taken from her, closed and slipped back beneath her pillow. she still doesn’t get why sana understands so much, but she’s forever grateful for her.

“it’s over, it wasn’t real baby,” sana’s eyes pierce her soul, chaeyoung can feel them on her even with her own eyes closed. “was it the same dream?”

chaeyoung nods, eyes opening to meet sana’s despite her shame. no matter how long it’s been, no matter how many times she has the dream, no matter how much sana reassures her, she always feels shame.

“don’t feel sorry, love.”

and sana notices every time.

“how can i not?” chaeyoung’s voice is small, scared; everything she prides herself on _ not _ being. the hand not being held by sana’s own reaches out, slips under the older girl’s shirt, fingers tracing a scar that chaeyoung should’ve never allowed to happen. “there shouldn’t have even been an opportunity for you to be hurt. it wouldn’t have happened if-”

“no matter how many times you tell me to leave for my own safety, i won’t,” sana says with so much conviction it takes chaeyoung’s breath away. “i knew what i was getting into when i kissed you that day.”

“last i checked, i kissed you first,” chaeyoung chuckles, finally managing a small smile. it causes sana’s own face to light up, despite the roll of her eyes. chaeyoung has always prefered sana like this; bright, carefree, _ happy _. she doesn’t feel like she makes her happy often enough, but both sana and their friends say otherwise. it just makes her cherish sana’s smile even more.

“do you think you’re ready to try and sleep again?” sana asks softly when chaeyoung can no longer hold back her yawns. much to her amusement, chaeyoung shakes her head, both too stubborn to fall back into slumber and too afraid to see the same nightmare over and over again.

so sana stands from the bed, offering a hand to the shorter girl. “come on, i’ll make you some tea.”

“it’s three a.m., you work tomorrow,” chaeyoung frowns.

“and you’re my number one priority,” sana shrugs, leaning forward to grab chaeyoung’s hand and pull her from beneath the covers.

sana’s smile blinds her in a way she can’t describe but absolutely craves. the warmth of sana’s hand is much more pleasant than cold metal, and the taste of sana’s lips makes every sacrifice chaeyoung has ever made to keep her safe worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @ tigermochaeyu :)


End file.
